It's about time I loaded some pics

She really loves her sister (I know Lolly looks like she's in pain, but she's not).

He kept making funny faces at the camera--so I took a picture of him--what a goof.

Exactly one day old.

These kids are the best big sister and brother--they really love Laurelyn a LOT.

Are there words?

Affectionate Enoch--he loves placing his head near hers--sometimes a little scary, but it's really sweet.

Oh yeah, I threw this one in to show you how big I got (just before we went in to the hospital)

Baby Blues or Green-eyed Monster?

I love having Laurelyn around. She is so easy. The other kids are pretty easy too (and Enoch will be a piece of cake again, I'm sure, once we have all the doors back on [I'll have to fill everyone in on the remodeling stuff later]). I am happy. Robert is incredible. I have more than I deserve, really.

But. . . (don't tell me you didn't expect a "but" after that) there is this emotional squeezing, straining, inside of my chest. Three kids seems like the end all be all. I am now a bonifide mother--just like my own mom (not counting step-kids). There's so much that I'm never ever going to do. I was content to just dream about it all before. Stuff like Hawaiian vacations weren't supposed to be real. They were more fun to just think about, and maybe someday spend what you could spare out of your life savings to purchase, and you'd have one amazing fulfilled dream to end your life with. I went to Hawaii with my in-laws. It was beyond amazing. My in-laws are incredibly generous people. I didn't deserve it. My Dad deserved it. I hope someday I can send him.

I remember in 5th grade I had a textbook with a picture of Stonehenge on it. I imagined going there someday. It seemed like the biggest dream I could make up (Well, I also really wanted to visit Grecian and Roman ruins--for some reason I thought they were closer to Stonehenge). Now I've seen so many pictures of people I know in front of it that it's kind of lost all of its mystique.

My mom served her mission in England. Whenever she would get frustrated, she'd sing this song about how she was going back to England. It annoyed me beyond compare, but I knew she'd never go back. We'd been planning a trip to Disneyland for ten years (a place that almost received Hawaii's status on the possibility poll), there was no way she'd ever be able to go back. Besides that, we didn't fly in airplanes until I was 17, and England was much too far for a road trip. Europe was unobtainable.

Europe still is unobtainable. (Even after all of that talking with study abroad)

I tried to go to EFY--that was also too expensive--unobtainable. (But we did have some rockin' youth conferences)

Graduating? Will it ever happen? I think I'm going to have to settle for a BGS. English Major--not any time soon. (although I did have some good times at BYU)

Knowing what it's like to have time to plan a wedding? With my fiance? (Well, I hope that doesn't happen again, but it would have been nice)

Singing in the Mo Tab (or at least general conference)? Everyone else has already done it.

I won't go on--I'm sure we all get the idea. I'm just terribly jealous. It seems like I don't have that special unobtainable dream anymore. Too many people have already lived those dreams out for me! (or I'm too old, or it's already happened, or didn't go as planned. . . ) And really, who's going to go to Asia or something with 3 (or more?) kids in tow?

I guess I can cheer up knowing that I am the only person who gets to be Robert's wife; Nana's, Eenie's, and Laurelyn's mom. They are all kind of nice.

Well, all of this complaining is giving me a headache. Goodnight.

I'm pretty much the worst parent. . .

for writing this post instead of feeding the newborn.


So. . . just to be quick:



8 lbs 9oz=big baby


I had to push more than 3 times=me big baby


Name: Laurelyn Alice changed to Elizabeth Mae then to Laurelynn Alice


Ugh. We spelled her name wrong on the birth certificate.

No Rest for the Wicked

I honestly feel evil today. I'm not really any meaner, or louder, or dirtier, or anything like that--I'm just super lazy. I would probably commit any number of terrible atrocities if I thought they would be an end to the means--the end being a nap--or even a chance to sit down with my eyes closed for an extended period of time.

I rather dislike Thursdays. They let me know how much I depend on Robert--especially now. That man does pretty much everything but breathe for me. Alas, he 'forgot' to make me and the kids dinner ;-}. Guess I'll make pizza again tonight--or maybe spaghetti--or maybe just some cheese sticks and some apple juice.

Then again, watching Robert work makes me feel even more tired. What has he done since we've been home? (not counting taking care of the kids almost all day)

Unpacked from our trip all by himself--unless you count the three or four trips I took (we even brought a U-haul back--I told him to call someone to help, but he had it done before I could find the ward list).

Finished framing the basement except for the last wall (we need it open so we can get the tub in more easily).

Started the electrical and drywall.

Painted the new storage room floor and wall, and Moved most of the food onto the fancy new shelves from his parents.

Put in a door.

Started prepping the three bedrooms upstairs for carpeting--including shopping around for the best deal, getting my approval (no easy task), removing furniture, handling the estimate guy, and soon he'll tear up the carpets and put up the tack strips around the edges of the room and we'll (err. . . umm. . . he'll mostly) paint two of the rooms. We'll have about one day (maybe two) to put all of the furniture back before my parents come--two days before the baby--his response--'that's plenty of time.' I believe him, too. He's that crazy. He wants to get it all done before school starts again.

Later this summer he hopes to: put in a driveway, cut out two of the windows in the basement for a new guest bedroom and replace all of the others, install a tub and sink in the basement bathroom, drywall all of the walls, mud and texturize and paint the walls, install the internet downstairs, build counters in the laundry room, build a playroom under the stairs, and probably a bunch of other stuff I'm forgetting.

We had planned on a carport and a backyard fence, but I think he cut those out. Let's not loose our minds, now :D.

Oh, Oh, and I should mention--at his parents a router chewed up the top of his finger--he had 8 stitches--he's been working with that!

What have I done since we've gotten back? It seems like there should have been something. I did some nice couponing--two trips (I dropped off Robert and the kids at a park for the duration). I went to a birthday party (couldn't handle both kids, so I left Nana at home--with Robert). I put up a bulletin board (although Robert helped). I loaded the dishwasher once and unloaded it twice. I made a pizza, spaghetti, taco soup, another pizza, cheese sticks, yogurt, pudding cups, and leftovers for dinners (I also made Nana a PB&J once--but Robert's mostly done lunches). Ummmm. . . I push play on Nana's movies (when Robert doesn't). I gave the kids a bath a few times (Robert would have, but his finger. . . he still did a couple times). I did a few loads of laundry (they aren't folded yet). Well. . . you get the idea. I feel horribly lazy, and horribly bad about it, because Robert has done SO much (and a lot of it was with Eenie and Nana underfoot--Eenie is cute with a hammer). I didn't even talk about all the car stuff he's done, or the shopping, or the meetings he's had. . . Ugh, I'm going to go clean something so I don't feel as evil.