Aren't our kids cute!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Starting Over
Today I'm getting rid of all of it. There is too much junk on our house. Everything should have a place--not a "storage" place. There are boxes in storage that I haven't looked through for at least a year, and my closet has tubs of pre-pregnancy clothes that I haven't worn basically for five years (except for about a month or two after Nana was born). Picture frames are also evil. Alrighty. Here goes. . .
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Vacations
are pretty nice. We've been in Utah for Robert's first rotation. We leave for home this Sat. I'm really excited to get back, but a little sad to leave too. Oh, and the two-day trip--not exactly ecstatic. But, at least I'll get a lot of time with Robert. I miss him.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Ready for the LOOOOONG Story? (Me neither--the abridged is the previous post)
I used to visit teach Jodi Ewing, and once she told us something to the effect that if you are with all of your kids and it seems like one of them are missing--you're probably up for another baby. I was pregnant at the time with Lolly, so I had experienced something to that effect already. For me, it's more hearing a baby cry. In January (or earlier? I don't remember) I started hearing a phantom baby. It was driving me crazy, actually. But I've always wanted a larger family, so I was glad. I was already working on my weightloss goals so that I could have a healthier pregnancy, and the phantom baby was encouraging.
Also in January, things were starting to get back to normal a little. My cycle had started again, Robert and I were doing exceptionally well in our marriage (those books the bishop recommended in the 5th Sunday combined meeting, were really helpful), I was being a better mom, and even my hobbies were picking up again. Then, we had a great, uplifting, spiritual experience, and I knew we were pregnant. Robert was skeptical. I was still nursing, and we were on birth control. He said he'd wait for the test results.
Sure enough, next month, no period. I started to get anxious about telling others. Our midwife had told us not to have another baby for awhile for health reasons, and I fully intended to follow that direction. I also didn't want to tell people at church. I felt it was a little irresponsible for someone as scatter-brained as me to have so many kids so close together, especially considering the problems I had last pregnancy and the stage we are in with medical school--and I had a little proof that some of the sisters agreed with me--at least to a certain extent. The next girls' night I went to, I kind of hinted that we might be expecting (I hadn't taken a test yet, but my period was three days late or so, and I'd already seen some of that pinkish bloody show you get in pregnancy a few days before it should have come). I don't think most people noticed, but one did at least a little bit, and it wasn't the most encouraging verbal reaction for me. Not that anyone was mean or anything. About a month later (when I decided I was not pregnant), another person told me that I better not be pregnant in a jocular fashion--I agreed, and I assured them that I was not. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I decided that if I didn't get my period by Feb 5th, I would take a test. I took two a few days later. Both were negative. I waited a few days and took another. I thought there was a faint line, but Robert's always there when I take these tests in case it's important news, and he says there wasn't one. I called the midwife, and her nurse had me come in for a test, but I couldn't get the results until Monday. I believe it was that Sunday, I started to really feel the effects of my pregnancy. I was bloated and my skirt was too tight, I had sharing time and I wanted to throw up during it. Right after I was finished with sharing time, I went to the back of the room where Jandi and Carolyn were sitting, and a wave of sickness hit me. I ran to the bathroom and tossed my cookies. Carolyn followed me, and asked me if I was okay, and if I were pregnant. Even though I hadn't really gotten a positive test yet, I told her I was. And she was great--really supportive. I love Carolyn a lot. If you don't know her very well, you really should. She is a very loving sister. Jandi was also great, I didn't get a chance to talk with Lacey that day. (These are the sisters that were in the primary presidency.) I'm fuzzy on the dates, but at some point, I started bleeding brown and red blood again, and I thought I was either having a period again or miscarrying. I told Lacey over the phone that I was pregnant and possibly miscarrying, and it was nice to have her to talk to. I got the results back from the Dr. and they were negative. But I had mastitis--that was enough to explain some of my symptoms. Robert told me I must be having my period and that I really needed to tell everyone that I wasn't pregnant. I agreed. I figured I was trying so hard to prove that I was pregnant, that I was just in denial that I wasn't. Oh the irony. I didn't want to tell anyone in person, so I wrote an email it went something like this:
Hi everyone,
So, if I wasn't embarrassed before. . . well, I sure am now.
Funny story:
I felt funny one day--really tired and nauseated. So I had Robert go to the dollar store and get me three HPT's while he was out (yes, he is amazing--he even had to ask the clerk where they were). Took the first two the next morning and the morning after that. They were negative, but I still felt pregnant. I waited a week for the next one, and it was faintly positive (but now I'm wondering). I decided it must be right since it matched my symptoms--nausea, fatigue, dwindling milk supply, even bloating, etc.
Then, as I mentioned to Lacey last night, I thought I was miscarrying, so I called the doctor. Turns out, more than likely, I'm not pregnant at ALL! (Kind of a relief, and also a bit of a disappointment.) I just have had mastitis for almost a month. (ICK!--I've had it 3 times before, but I honestly thought you could only get that when your milk first comes in), and all the worrying about everything from how we were going to pay for four kids in college and what everyone would think of us when they found out is probably the reason I was "morning sick" (I really was stressed out) and not being able to sleep because of those thoughts probably exacerbated the normal "fatigue" that comes with mastitis. Oh yeah, and the "bloating" and the "miscarriage"--that would be from "my friend" finally visiting after pregnancy. Yes, I am a nerd. Pity me (for my legitimate insanity, not the cosmic insanity that would find me pregnant right now--of course it might be really nice condition to be in by this time next year).
But, it's actually been kind of one of those blessing in disguise. I've had to do a lot of life examining--especially of my parenting and my relationship with my husband. I was trying to prepare for what a trial it would be by strengthening my love for each of my current family members. I also learned not to worry about things so much. I feel fantastic about that part of all of this.
Blah.
Okay, now that you know waaaaay to much about the inner (non-)workings of my brain. . .
Alrighty--I'm off to find a brown paper bag,
Loves,
Ali Mae
See? I can be pretty convincing, huh? Although, I don't think I had mastitis for over a month--probably more like a week. In fact, I wasn't feeling very well again at a pack meeting, and Carolyn asked me if it was mastitis again, and I didn't know what to say, because it was the same symptoms again, but the infection had definitely cleared up by then.
The rest of February was not the best month. There was the mastitis mess, which if you've had it before, you know it's really painful and completely wipes you out, and I was sleeping a lot more often. Now that we were sure we weren't expecting, Robert was a little peeved that I was not getting up to get the kids in the morning anymore, and that I was taking a nap or two throughout the day. Our relationship was struggling again, in part because Robert had more responsibilities for school, and I also needed him more. I was also hitting a new low. I was feeling really depressed--and I'm not using that term lightly. Robert told me once that I should get some medical help. I thought of talking to the bishop, but I never got around to it. I'm not sure why I was so bad off--I guess because it was so hard to get motivated to do anything but sleep, and I didn't know why. It felt like my life was falling apart around me. People keep telling me that they think it would be neat to not know they were pregnant for a few months so that it would go faster. Let me just tell you, it wasn't that pleasant for me. Not knowing is much harder.
In March I had another irregular "period" after a strenuous run. I was pushing myself to train for a run, and I pushed too hard. The bleeding came the next day. It wasn't on schedule, but I had already called the Dr. office a second time and the nurse had said (after consulting my midwife) that it was completely normal to be missing my periods or having them run so light and irregular with brown blood for up to a year after weaning. That didn't sound quite right to me, but okay. I figured something was probably wrong, but not that I was pregnant. I had just had another 'period' afterall. I had some horrible hormonal issues especially after hitting puberty before we were married, and I just figured those were coming back--not a happy thought. I really didn't want to deal with all of that again.
Michelle came to visit us sometime around then--and I was having trouble fitting into my clothes and staying awake while she was in town. I chalked it up to the fact that we would stay up late talking. We also ran around town a lot doing fun things with the kids like going to the library and looking for leapfrog statues around town. The baby also weaned herself while Michelle was here. I was having trouble keeping my milk supply up and the baby didn't seem interested anymore. I've heard that your milk tastes funny when you're pregnant, so that might be why.
April Fool's day came around, and I started getting a lot more symptoms. I remember looking in the mirror, noticing how bloated I was, and then going downstairs to watch general conference with Robert--pointing out to him how pregnant I looked--and he agreed that my stomach was 'bloated'. I resolved to eat more fiber and exercise more. I ate so much fiber the next few days. It was really cleansing, but I still looked bloated. We played the best April Fool's joke on eachother that day. We kept poking fun at how pregnant I looked and acted, but neither of us thought I actually was.
Joanna's birthday was coming around, and I was so tired and useless that I couldn't put together a birthday party for her. We did do a few fun things at home with her, but no big shebang like we had for Enoch. She noticed too. Her birthday was on a Thursday. That morning we had gone shopping with her, although she couldn't decide what toy she wanted, so we didn't get her anything. While we were out, we stopped by the dollar store for some HPT's. I wasn't quite 'late' according to my last 'period', but I wanted to avoid calling the midwife again and the anticipation of whether or not I was going to have another period. We were joking in the car that there was no way we were having a baby; we had been so careful. Robert had to leave that afternoon for stake meetings in Jamestown, so after we had cake and ice cream, he left and I played with the kids that evening. When it was bath time, I put the baby down and the kids were playing in the tub, so I thought, 'Hey, I'm in the bathroom. . . I might as well do this now.' And I took the pregnancy test. I probably should have waited until after the kids were in bed. As soon as the fluid hit the stick it was unmistakably positive. I started crying--a lot. Poor Joanna didn't know what was going on. She kept telling me it was okay, and she'd asked me not to cry. I managed to put on a somewhat straight face and tell her I was alright. Once they were in bed, I tried to call Robert, but he was in a meeting, so he didn't answer the phone. I tried to text him, but I don't think he knows how to check texts. I finally called him again when I thought his meeting should be over (or he called me, I don't remember), and told him. He was surprised, especially since I started crying again. But he tried to comfort me. He couldn't come home right away (partially because Jamestown is kind of far, partially because he didn't drive and needed a ride), and he had another meeting, so he had to go, and I called my mom.
I am glad I took the test that night, because Bro May drove Robert home, and they came in and gave me a blessing. That helped. I was worried about how the baby was since I'd had so much bleeding and how the midwife had warned us it wouldn't be healthy to get pregnant again right away. Robert was really comforting, though. I didn't get much sleep that night. And it was hard to tell anyone at first--even within the family. I kept crying when I voiced it. I was also still worried about how others would react, but most have reacted pretty well. A few people, like my uncle, have had their opinions, but none I could take offense to. The bishop has been really supportive too. (Our bishop is really outstanding.) And I've gotten used to the idea. More than used to it actually. I've gone from crying and worried every time I think deeply about it, to really being excited and more than comfortable with the idea. I'm definitely at peace. I very much want this baby, and I'm so glad that it's coming to stay with us. I still worry about what's going to happen when the baby arrives, how the delivery will go, how it will affect the rest of the kids, but not nearly on the level I used to.
Congratulations if you read that whole post. I didn't even read through it a second time.
Also in January, things were starting to get back to normal a little. My cycle had started again, Robert and I were doing exceptionally well in our marriage (those books the bishop recommended in the 5th Sunday combined meeting, were really helpful), I was being a better mom, and even my hobbies were picking up again. Then, we had a great, uplifting, spiritual experience, and I knew we were pregnant. Robert was skeptical. I was still nursing, and we were on birth control. He said he'd wait for the test results.
Sure enough, next month, no period. I started to get anxious about telling others. Our midwife had told us not to have another baby for awhile for health reasons, and I fully intended to follow that direction. I also didn't want to tell people at church. I felt it was a little irresponsible for someone as scatter-brained as me to have so many kids so close together, especially considering the problems I had last pregnancy and the stage we are in with medical school--and I had a little proof that some of the sisters agreed with me--at least to a certain extent. The next girls' night I went to, I kind of hinted that we might be expecting (I hadn't taken a test yet, but my period was three days late or so, and I'd already seen some of that pinkish bloody show you get in pregnancy a few days before it should have come). I don't think most people noticed, but one did at least a little bit, and it wasn't the most encouraging verbal reaction for me. Not that anyone was mean or anything. About a month later (when I decided I was not pregnant), another person told me that I better not be pregnant in a jocular fashion--I agreed, and I assured them that I was not. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I decided that if I didn't get my period by Feb 5th, I would take a test. I took two a few days later. Both were negative. I waited a few days and took another. I thought there was a faint line, but Robert's always there when I take these tests in case it's important news, and he says there wasn't one. I called the midwife, and her nurse had me come in for a test, but I couldn't get the results until Monday. I believe it was that Sunday, I started to really feel the effects of my pregnancy. I was bloated and my skirt was too tight, I had sharing time and I wanted to throw up during it. Right after I was finished with sharing time, I went to the back of the room where Jandi and Carolyn were sitting, and a wave of sickness hit me. I ran to the bathroom and tossed my cookies. Carolyn followed me, and asked me if I was okay, and if I were pregnant. Even though I hadn't really gotten a positive test yet, I told her I was. And she was great--really supportive. I love Carolyn a lot. If you don't know her very well, you really should. She is a very loving sister. Jandi was also great, I didn't get a chance to talk with Lacey that day. (These are the sisters that were in the primary presidency.) I'm fuzzy on the dates, but at some point, I started bleeding brown and red blood again, and I thought I was either having a period again or miscarrying. I told Lacey over the phone that I was pregnant and possibly miscarrying, and it was nice to have her to talk to. I got the results back from the Dr. and they were negative. But I had mastitis--that was enough to explain some of my symptoms. Robert told me I must be having my period and that I really needed to tell everyone that I wasn't pregnant. I agreed. I figured I was trying so hard to prove that I was pregnant, that I was just in denial that I wasn't. Oh the irony. I didn't want to tell anyone in person, so I wrote an email it went something like this:
Hi everyone,
So, if I wasn't embarrassed before. . . well, I sure am now.
Funny story:
I felt funny one day--really tired and nauseated. So I had Robert go to the dollar store and get me three HPT's while he was out (yes, he is amazing--he even had to ask the clerk where they were). Took the first two the next morning and the morning after that. They were negative, but I still felt pregnant. I waited a week for the next one, and it was faintly positive (but now I'm wondering). I decided it must be right since it matched my symptoms--nausea, fatigue, dwindling milk supply, even bloating, etc.
Then, as I mentioned to Lacey last night, I thought I was miscarrying, so I called the doctor. Turns out, more than likely, I'm not pregnant at ALL! (Kind of a relief, and also a bit of a disappointment.) I just have had mastitis for almost a month. (ICK!--I've had it 3 times before, but I honestly thought you could only get that when your milk first comes in), and all the worrying about everything from how we were going to pay for four kids in college and what everyone would think of us when they found out is probably the reason I was "morning sick" (I really was stressed out) and not being able to sleep because of those thoughts probably exacerbated the normal "fatigue" that comes with mastitis. Oh yeah, and the "bloating" and the "miscarriage"--that would be from "my friend" finally visiting after pregnancy. Yes, I am a nerd. Pity me (for my legitimate insanity, not the cosmic insanity that would find me pregnant right now--of course it might be really nice condition to be in by this time next year).
But, it's actually been kind of one of those blessing in disguise. I've had to do a lot of life examining--especially of my parenting and my relationship with my husband. I was trying to prepare for what a trial it would be by strengthening my love for each of my current family members. I also learned not to worry about things so much. I feel fantastic about that part of all of this.
Blah.
Okay, now that you know waaaaay to much about the inner (non-)workings of my brain. . .
Alrighty--I'm off to find a brown paper bag,
Loves,
Ali Mae
See? I can be pretty convincing, huh? Although, I don't think I had mastitis for over a month--probably more like a week. In fact, I wasn't feeling very well again at a pack meeting, and Carolyn asked me if it was mastitis again, and I didn't know what to say, because it was the same symptoms again, but the infection had definitely cleared up by then.
The rest of February was not the best month. There was the mastitis mess, which if you've had it before, you know it's really painful and completely wipes you out, and I was sleeping a lot more often. Now that we were sure we weren't expecting, Robert was a little peeved that I was not getting up to get the kids in the morning anymore, and that I was taking a nap or two throughout the day. Our relationship was struggling again, in part because Robert had more responsibilities for school, and I also needed him more. I was also hitting a new low. I was feeling really depressed--and I'm not using that term lightly. Robert told me once that I should get some medical help. I thought of talking to the bishop, but I never got around to it. I'm not sure why I was so bad off--I guess because it was so hard to get motivated to do anything but sleep, and I didn't know why. It felt like my life was falling apart around me. People keep telling me that they think it would be neat to not know they were pregnant for a few months so that it would go faster. Let me just tell you, it wasn't that pleasant for me. Not knowing is much harder.
In March I had another irregular "period" after a strenuous run. I was pushing myself to train for a run, and I pushed too hard. The bleeding came the next day. It wasn't on schedule, but I had already called the Dr. office a second time and the nurse had said (after consulting my midwife) that it was completely normal to be missing my periods or having them run so light and irregular with brown blood for up to a year after weaning. That didn't sound quite right to me, but okay. I figured something was probably wrong, but not that I was pregnant. I had just had another 'period' afterall. I had some horrible hormonal issues especially after hitting puberty before we were married, and I just figured those were coming back--not a happy thought. I really didn't want to deal with all of that again.
Michelle came to visit us sometime around then--and I was having trouble fitting into my clothes and staying awake while she was in town. I chalked it up to the fact that we would stay up late talking. We also ran around town a lot doing fun things with the kids like going to the library and looking for leapfrog statues around town. The baby also weaned herself while Michelle was here. I was having trouble keeping my milk supply up and the baby didn't seem interested anymore. I've heard that your milk tastes funny when you're pregnant, so that might be why.
April Fool's day came around, and I started getting a lot more symptoms. I remember looking in the mirror, noticing how bloated I was, and then going downstairs to watch general conference with Robert--pointing out to him how pregnant I looked--and he agreed that my stomach was 'bloated'. I resolved to eat more fiber and exercise more. I ate so much fiber the next few days. It was really cleansing, but I still looked bloated. We played the best April Fool's joke on eachother that day. We kept poking fun at how pregnant I looked and acted, but neither of us thought I actually was.
Joanna's birthday was coming around, and I was so tired and useless that I couldn't put together a birthday party for her. We did do a few fun things at home with her, but no big shebang like we had for Enoch. She noticed too. Her birthday was on a Thursday. That morning we had gone shopping with her, although she couldn't decide what toy she wanted, so we didn't get her anything. While we were out, we stopped by the dollar store for some HPT's. I wasn't quite 'late' according to my last 'period', but I wanted to avoid calling the midwife again and the anticipation of whether or not I was going to have another period. We were joking in the car that there was no way we were having a baby; we had been so careful. Robert had to leave that afternoon for stake meetings in Jamestown, so after we had cake and ice cream, he left and I played with the kids that evening. When it was bath time, I put the baby down and the kids were playing in the tub, so I thought, 'Hey, I'm in the bathroom. . . I might as well do this now.' And I took the pregnancy test. I probably should have waited until after the kids were in bed. As soon as the fluid hit the stick it was unmistakably positive. I started crying--a lot. Poor Joanna didn't know what was going on. She kept telling me it was okay, and she'd asked me not to cry. I managed to put on a somewhat straight face and tell her I was alright. Once they were in bed, I tried to call Robert, but he was in a meeting, so he didn't answer the phone. I tried to text him, but I don't think he knows how to check texts. I finally called him again when I thought his meeting should be over (or he called me, I don't remember), and told him. He was surprised, especially since I started crying again. But he tried to comfort me. He couldn't come home right away (partially because Jamestown is kind of far, partially because he didn't drive and needed a ride), and he had another meeting, so he had to go, and I called my mom.
I am glad I took the test that night, because Bro May drove Robert home, and they came in and gave me a blessing. That helped. I was worried about how the baby was since I'd had so much bleeding and how the midwife had warned us it wouldn't be healthy to get pregnant again right away. Robert was really comforting, though. I didn't get much sleep that night. And it was hard to tell anyone at first--even within the family. I kept crying when I voiced it. I was also still worried about how others would react, but most have reacted pretty well. A few people, like my uncle, have had their opinions, but none I could take offense to. The bishop has been really supportive too. (Our bishop is really outstanding.) And I've gotten used to the idea. More than used to it actually. I've gone from crying and worried every time I think deeply about it, to really being excited and more than comfortable with the idea. I'm definitely at peace. I very much want this baby, and I'm so glad that it's coming to stay with us. I still worry about what's going to happen when the baby arrives, how the delivery will go, how it will affect the rest of the kids, but not nearly on the level I used to.
Congratulations if you read that whole post. I didn't even read through it a second time.
Oops, can't catch up like I'd hoped. And the abridged pregnancy story.
Looks like we didn't put some of the pictures on our external hard drive that I'd thought. So St. Patrick's Day, Birthdays, fish and frog huntings, will just have to wait until later.
But do not be dismayed. I've finally decided to post a giant long post about how we were and weren't and were pregnant, etc.
I'm pretty sure none of you actually have the time to read the whole thing--so here is the abridged version:
Kept hearing a phantom baby.
Spiritual experience=really excited even though it wasn't part of my plan.
Hinted at birthday party.
Other primary presidency members asked when I was morning sick during my sharing time.
Despite morning sickness, bloating, the inextinguishable desire to sleep, and that pinkish spotting I've only gotten when pregnant--all 4 of the actual diagnostic tests were negative (including the one at the Dr.'s).
I finally get some heavier brown bleeding and decide it's my late, light period.
Had to write an embarrassing email telling other presidency members I was NOT pregnant.
Thought up all of the reasons why another baby right now was more than wrong for our family.
Missed next month's period too. Called Dr. Nurse said it was normal for up to a year after weaning!
I had another 'light period' only a few days late after strenuously exercising. Figured the Dr. must be right.
Some clothes stopped fitting me.
Upped my exercise and diet program (I had been doing really well previously).
Decided my hormonal problems from puberty must be making me sick. Got really depressed.
Nearing my next period, wanted to avoid the uncertainty and didn't want to call the Dr. again.
Was certain I was NOT pregnant, but took a test anyway--just to see if I needed to see a Dr. for other reasons.
The test was immediately positive. I cried and called Robert.
But do not be dismayed. I've finally decided to post a giant long post about how we were and weren't and were pregnant, etc.
I'm pretty sure none of you actually have the time to read the whole thing--so here is the abridged version:
Kept hearing a phantom baby.
Spiritual experience=really excited even though it wasn't part of my plan.
Hinted at birthday party.
Other primary presidency members asked when I was morning sick during my sharing time.
Despite morning sickness, bloating, the inextinguishable desire to sleep, and that pinkish spotting I've only gotten when pregnant--all 4 of the actual diagnostic tests were negative (including the one at the Dr.'s).
I finally get some heavier brown bleeding and decide it's my late, light period.
Had to write an embarrassing email telling other presidency members I was NOT pregnant.
Thought up all of the reasons why another baby right now was more than wrong for our family.
Missed next month's period too. Called Dr. Nurse said it was normal for up to a year after weaning!
I had another 'light period' only a few days late after strenuously exercising. Figured the Dr. must be right.
Some clothes stopped fitting me.
Upped my exercise and diet program (I had been doing really well previously).
Decided my hormonal problems from puberty must be making me sick. Got really depressed.
Nearing my next period, wanted to avoid the uncertainty and didn't want to call the Dr. again.
Was certain I was NOT pregnant, but took a test anyway--just to see if I needed to see a Dr. for other reasons.
The test was immediately positive. I cried and called Robert.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
5 years and counting
Tomorrow is our 5th wedding anniversary. I remember sitting at a cousin's baby shower (which also happened to be her sister's bridal shower) having an awesome time chatting it up with a few of my sis-in-laws. It was almost Machel's 5th anniversary, and she was telling us some of the neat things she had planned--and 5 years seemed so far away. I think that was 2 1/2 years ago? Gee, time flies. And besides this post, and maybe a card later, I have nothing planned.
I had assumed that this would be our most amazing anniversary yet. Diamond ring type anniversary, with flowers, and dessert and a really nice (definitely steamy) date night. I'm still pretty sure that it'll be awesome, but the ring turned into a car and extra seats for the yukon, and it's possible that I won't even do my hair or put on makeup--let alone have much steam to work with. But we'll see. It's so nice to just be around Robert. He makes me happy. I love him a lot. And while our anniversaries are usually a little bittersweet, because they bring back a flood of horrible memories along with all of the good, I'm so glad we've made it 5 years!!!
Monday, June 7, 2010
The Hap-hap-happenings
Robert is done with his boards! He says they were hard, but he probably did okay.
He's also almost done with his first day of his first rotation!
YAY!!! Robert!
I'm pretty sure that Robert is going to treat me to a movie tonight ;D
I can't stop thinking about what to do for Lolly's lollipop party! It's going to be uber-incredible. And I think we might be able to do it here in Utah with the family.
Despite being away from home, I've finally managed to eat well for two days in a row! I feel so much better. Watching what you eat really is important to how the rest of your day goes.
Enoch can get his own food--for the most part. However, it usually includes cheese sticks, baby cut carrots, and bananas.
Joanna is coming down a little from all of the spoiling she's been getting. She's been much more polite and much less whiny today. Can we keep this up when everyone comes back from vacation? Probably not, but maybe we can keep a closer eye on the sugar she gets.
Lolly is also less needy these past few days. She plays contentedly in the playpen for hours, and Enoch and Nana entertain her too.
Life is good.
Now if I could just know what to do around here without offending someone--I feel so useless.
He's also almost done with his first day of his first rotation!
YAY!!! Robert!
I'm pretty sure that Robert is going to treat me to a movie tonight ;D
I can't stop thinking about what to do for Lolly's lollipop party! It's going to be uber-incredible. And I think we might be able to do it here in Utah with the family.
Despite being away from home, I've finally managed to eat well for two days in a row! I feel so much better. Watching what you eat really is important to how the rest of your day goes.
Enoch can get his own food--for the most part. However, it usually includes cheese sticks, baby cut carrots, and bananas.
Joanna is coming down a little from all of the spoiling she's been getting. She's been much more polite and much less whiny today. Can we keep this up when everyone comes back from vacation? Probably not, but maybe we can keep a closer eye on the sugar she gets.
Lolly is also less needy these past few days. She plays contentedly in the playpen for hours, and Enoch and Nana entertain her too.
Life is good.
Now if I could just know what to do around here without offending someone--I feel so useless.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Bummed Out
blah blah blah Today is one of those days where I want to curl up in a ball and pretend I don't exist. But, since that would make for a horribly boring and quite possibly disturbing blog post--I won't go there--at least not all the way. There are so many unknowns in my life right now. How will Robert do on his boards today? How will I function during his rotations? What can I do to help around here without making anyone uncomfortable? Where do I fit in? Am I as big a nerd as I feel? When will I finish school? Can I keep up with all of the work Alt-erior Designing requires? Can I potty train Enoch so I won't have 3 diaper wearers again? What am I carrying in my belly? Can I be a mother to 4 kids at or under 4 at 24? Just the thought of throwing 4 birthday parties a year makes me want to cry. Is everything really going to be all right? Like I said, curl up in a ball and pretend I don't exist. . . I feel like a teenager.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Playing Catch-Up: February
We had a pretty decent Valentine's--some friends even brought us a treat. We spent most of the day doing this:
Aren't we adorable? Okay, well at least the kids? We tried to take some pictures for Valentine's Day, and I think we did a decent job--considering. . . We even got a family picture (which has never really happened before unless you count snapshots--seriously, we even took our own engagement picture, and we both had dreadful sunburn that I did my best to edit out)--See?
Aren't we adorable? Okay, well at least the kids? We tried to take some pictures for Valentine's Day, and I think we did a decent job--considering. . . We even got a family picture (which has never really happened before unless you count snapshots--seriously, we even took our own engagement picture, and we both had dreadful sunburn that I did my best to edit out)--See? 
Sunday, May 9, 2010
**SURPRISE**
AKA: Best April Fool's joke ever. . . (I'll explain later)
My life has been full of surprizes lately. . .
Surprize #1 I'm writing a blog post!
#2 Because of a really spiritual experience, I was sure I was pregnant back at the end of Jan, but the tests came back neg.
#3 I got down to my pre-Lolly weight again! (If only pre-Lolly was the same as pre-Enoch/Nana)
#4 I gained 5lbs back, and I'm betting on gaining more :P.
#5 Both of our cars died on the same day.
#6 The Lord loves us. (Maybe shouldn't be surprizing, but sometimes it is. . . )
#7 I've been facing impossibly problematic bloating and inexplicable sleep needs. (It's been bad. Robert had to push me out of the bed one morning--it was horrible.)
#8 I'm starting to doubt the competency of both birth control and pregnancy tests. I'm not sure why I use either of them ;D.
#9 I'm over 3 months pregnant! (Don't feel bad if you didn't know--I just found out a few weeks ago myself.) (Oh, and in case you've lost count--that's #4 for us.)
Happy Mother's Day Everyone!
My life has been full of surprizes lately. . .
Surprize #1 I'm writing a blog post!
#2 Because of a really spiritual experience, I was sure I was pregnant back at the end of Jan, but the tests came back neg.
#3 I got down to my pre-Lolly weight again! (If only pre-Lolly was the same as pre-Enoch/Nana)
#4 I gained 5lbs back, and I'm betting on gaining more :P.
#5 Both of our cars died on the same day.
#6 The Lord loves us. (Maybe shouldn't be surprizing, but sometimes it is. . . )
#7 I've been facing impossibly problematic bloating and inexplicable sleep needs. (It's been bad. Robert had to push me out of the bed one morning--it was horrible.)
#8 I'm starting to doubt the competency of both birth control and pregnancy tests. I'm not sure why I use either of them ;D.
#9 I'm over 3 months pregnant! (Don't feel bad if you didn't know--I just found out a few weeks ago myself.) (Oh, and in case you've lost count--that's #4 for us.)
Happy Mother's Day Everyone!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
New Year's Resolution
I sat down with Robert for like half an hour trying to figure out how to perfect our lives by setting 'realistic' goals. . . only one pencil was thrown and I don't even think it hit him (okay--I'm exaggerating a LITTLE bit). But we did make a long list. I really think we'll do better this year (especially on the get to bed by 11 one ;D--Don't look at the time this was published, please).
However, this afternoon, as I was lovingly watching over my dear little sweethearts, feeding them, reading them stories, bathing them, and ever so gently getting their feces off of their fingers and out of my clothing. . . another thought occured to me. Perhaps I have been setting the wrong goals!
So forget earlier bedtimes and more meaningful prayer--before my life is over, I want to be able to unashamedly poop all over my children and laugh hysterically at the fact (or at least watch my grandkids do it). At the moment, nothing else seems to matter, and revenge is much more 'realistic' anyhow.
However, this afternoon, as I was lovingly watching over my dear little sweethearts, feeding them, reading them stories, bathing them, and ever so gently getting their feces off of their fingers and out of my clothing. . . another thought occured to me. Perhaps I have been setting the wrong goals!
So forget earlier bedtimes and more meaningful prayer--before my life is over, I want to be able to unashamedly poop all over my children and laugh hysterically at the fact (or at least watch my grandkids do it). At the moment, nothing else seems to matter, and revenge is much more 'realistic' anyhow.
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